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Saving marriage with practical
tips Nurul Azka BANDAR SERI BEGAWAN
There are many ways to put a troubled marriage back on the right track if there is sincerity from both sides. The following principles can also be applied by those seeking to avoid trouble in their marriage. Marriage is Alla{aci}h's design. "And among His Signs is this, that Alla{aci}h created for you wives from amongst yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and Alla{aci}h has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect." (translation of surah Ar-Rum [30]: 21) Don't be a tyrant. A husband's role as the head of the household does not give him rights to be a dictator. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessing upon him) said, "The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best amongst you are those who behave best towards their wives." Don't force decisions. Follow the principle of 'Shura' (consultation with one another under Alla{aci}h's guidance) and make decisions as partners. There will be much more harmony in the family when decisions are not imposed on either party. Make everyone feel they have a contribution in the decisions. Check your emotions. Never be emotionally, mentally or physically abusive to your spouse. The Prophet never mistreated his wives. He is reported to have said: "How could they beat their women in daytime as slaves and then sleep with them in the night?" Mind your words. Be very careful with what you say when you are angry. Sometimes you will say things that you would never say when you were not angry. If you are angry, wait until you calm down before continuing the conversation. Show your love. When a man confessed that he never kissed his children, the Prophet commented, "Someone who never loves will never be loved." Be affectionate, kind, gentle and loving. Show your interest. Show interest in your spouse's life. Too often, people live in the same house but know too little about each other's lives. It would be great if the husband and wife could work together for the same cause or on the same project. They could take care of orphans in their home, lead an Islamic weekend class or supporting a poor family. Appreciate your spouse. Never make your husband feel that he is not doing enough for the family or that you are not satisfied with his work or his efforts, unless, of course, he is truly lazy and not even trying to provide for the family. The Prophet was reported to have said, "On the Day of Judgment, God will not look upon the woman who has been ungrateful to her husband." Show your wife that you appreciate her. If she takes care of the house and the children, don't take it for granted. It is hard work. The Brunei Times Source:http://www.bruneitimes.com.bn/details.php?shape_ID=27679
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