A Home Based on Love
    Posted by: "Shahid Khan" mail2shahid@gmail.com sk_999999999
    Date: Mon Jul 14, 2008 5:56 pm

A foremost characteristic of life in the home of the Prophet (peace be upon
him) was love. Love is the quality most necessary to ensure happiness. When
love is present, happiness is assured. Last week we showed that the Prophet
preferred a life of poverty, which was sometimes close to, if not below, the
subsistence level. Yet this did not detract from the fact that his was a
very happy home, with love spreading from its rooms to those who were
associated in any way with the Prophet's family.

Should love be removed from the life of any family, happiness becomes
lacking for everyone, no matter how affluent the family may be. Wealth can
buy comfort and luxury, but it cannot buy love and happiness. Muhammad
(peace be upon him) experienced first a life of poverty when he was brought
up by his uncle Abu Talib, who had a large family and small means. He had to
work and earn his living when he was still in his early teens. Then he
experienced a life of comfort and plenty when he lived with his first wife,
Khadeejah, who was rich and he looked after her business. Then in Madinah,
he lived a life of poverty, even though he could have had whatever he
wanted. He was the head of state and all its resources were at his disposal.
Yet he preferred to live on the borderline of poverty. When he had more than
enough for his family's needs for the day, he gave away all that was extra.
Once he received a gift of cooked birds. He gave his servant a bird to eat
and ate one himself. One bird was left, so Anas, his servant brought it for
the Prophet's dinner the following day. The Prophet was upset and said:
"Have I not told you never to leave anything for the following day?"

His life with Khadeejah was the symbol of happiness. She cherished his
company and looked after him in the most exemplary way. She realized that he
combined characteristics of the noblest type that made him unique among men.
On her part, Khadeejah combined beauty, good sense, mature judgment and a
loving and generous heart. They were the happiest of couples. They lived
together for 15 years or longer before he began to receive his message.
Theirs was a happy life of a loving couple. When he received his message,
she realized that her task was greater, and she fulfilled it with exemplary
devotion. He might spend a whole day speaking to people and telling them
about Islam, stressing that they needed to believe in God as the only deity
in the universe, and receiving nothing but one hostile reaction after
another. Yet he was assured that once he steps home, a comforting heart will
be there to receive him and dispel all that troubled his caring soul. He was
pained by the fact that people could not realize that the guidance he gave
them was for their own good and happiness in both this life and the life to
come. She reassured him that such stubborn rejection was the result of
ignorance or selfishness, and that it was bound to be temporary. Once people
saw the truth inherent in it, they were bound to accept it.

Khadeejah was his only wife for 25 years or longer. When she died, she left
a huge vacuum in his life that no woman could easily fill. Later, the
Prophet needed to marry several other women. There were social, political or
legislative reasons leading to each of his marriages. God allowed him any
number of wives, exempting him from the condition that allows man no more
than four wives at the same time. Despite the fact that some of these
marriages were in quick succession, love spread its wings on the Prophet's
home, with all inhabitants benefiting from it. No man's life was documented
in such details as the Prophet's life, yet we do not have a single incident
when any of his wives felt anything other than love toward him. Never was
any of them hurt by an angry word or an insult. He never raised his hand in
earnest or in jest to express an angry feeling.

Ayesha was the one he loved most, but this did not mean that he did not love
the others or that he showed them any disfavor. He felt for them and prayed
that God would not hold him accountable for his feelings, which were beyond
his control. Yet his treatment of all his wives was an exemplary exercise in
complete fairness. However, Ayesha knew how to impart her feelings to him
without putting this in words. The Prophet once told her: "I know when you
are pleased or angry with me." As she was keen not to let her anger surface,
she was surprised. She asked him: "How do you know that?" He said: "When you
are pleased with me and you want to emphasize something, you say: 'By God,
the Lord of Muhammad!' But when you are angry with me, you say: 'By God, the
Lord of Abraham!' She said: 'By God, I forsake only your name.'"

It was the love he emanated in his family life that made all his wives happy
with their situation, despite the fact that there were several others
sharing the same position with them. None would exchange her position as the
Prophet's wife for being the wife of any man on earth. When they all joined
together in demanding a better standard of living, he was angry with them
and left them all for a whole month. After which he gave them the choice
that he would either divorce them and give them plentiful gifts or they
would remain with him accepting the sort of life he gave them, which was one
of hard poverty, as we described last week. Every one of them said
unhesitatingly that she would stay with him and never make a similar demand.


We should remember that divorce in their society was accepted as normal, and
a divorcee or a widow could easily be married again. Yet none of them would
contemplate for a moment living with any man after having been the Prophet's
wife. It was such exemplary love that pulled them toward such a happy life.
Hence, God admonishes them to be grateful for their lot, and to remember the
supreme wisdom that is recited in their homes, as it is revealed from on
high to their husband, Muhammad (peace be upon him). God also elevated their
rank, making them mothers of all believers, in all generations. Each one of
them is Umm Al-Mumineen, i.e. Mother of Believers. This was a real status,
and all their contemporaries treated them as such. Later generations of
Muslims venerated them in the same way. As mothers of all Muslims, they
could not marry anyone after the Prophet had died. Thus, they kept this
status for all times.


*By: Adil Salahi*

* Permission is granted to circulate among private individuals and groups, to post on Internet sites and to publish in full text and subject title in not-for-profit publications.** *

    ((( Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem )))

~~~Let there be a community among you who call to the good, and enjoin the right, and forbid the wrong. They are the ones who have success.(Qur'an, 3:104)

~~~They believe in Allah and the Last Day, and enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, and compete in doing good. They are among the righteous.(Qur'an, 3:114)

~~~If you avoid the serious wrong actions you have been forbidden, We will erase your bad actions from you and admit you by a Gate of Honour.(Qur'an, 4:31)

~~~Help one another in birr (righteousness, virtue), and taqwa (piety, fear of Allah, God-consciousness), and do not help one another in sinning and transgression. And fear and revere Allah; verily, Allah is severe in punishment.(Qur'an, 5:2)

~~~You who believe! Have fear of Allah and seek the means of drawing near to Him and strive in His way,so that hopefully you'll be successful. (Qur'an, 5:35)

~~~Ask your Lord for forgiveness and then repent to Him. He will let you enjoy a good life until a specified time, and will give His favour to all who merit it. But if you turn your backs, I fear for you the punishment of a Mighty Day.(Qur'an, 11:3)

~~~Strive for Allah with the striving due to Him. He has selected you and not placed any constraint upon you in the religion-the religion of your forefather Ibrahim. He named you Muslims before and also in this, so that the Messenger could be witness against you and you could be witnesses against all mankind. So perform prayer and give alms and hold fast to Allah. He is your Protector-the Best Protector, the Best Helper. (Qur'an, 22:78)

   (((Subhan-Allahi Wa-Bihamdihi, Subhan-Allahil Azeem)))