10 Principles for Peaceful Life
1. Do Not Interfere In Others' Business Unless Asked:
Most of us create our own problems by interfering too often in others' affairs. We do so because somehow we have convinced ourselves that our way is the best way, our logic is the perfect logic and those who do not conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered to the right direction, i.e. our direction. This thinking denies the existence of individuality and consequently undermines the Intelligence and Creativity that is only attributed to Allah. Allah has created each one of us in a unique way. No two human beings can think or act in exactly the same way. All men or women act the way they do because Allah has made each one of us different, with different personalities. Be patient with one another, and mind your own business and you will keep your peace.
2. Forgive And Forget:
This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind, but also challenging to achieve. We often develop ill feelings inside our heart for the person who insult us or harm us. We nurture grievances resulting in loss of sleep, development of stomach ulcers, and high blood pressure. We further aggravate stress in ourselves by remembering, and reminding ourselves of the very persons that caused us harm. Get over this bad habit. Life is too short to waste in such trifles. Forgive, forget, and march on. Love flourishes in giving and forgiving.
3. Do Not Crave For Recognition:
This world is full of selfish people. They seldom praise anybody without selfish motives. They may praise you today because you are in power, but no sooner than you are powerless; they will forget your achievement and will start finding faults in you. Why do you wish to kill yourself in striving for their recognition? Do your duties ethically and sincerely, and only seek the pleasure of Allah through Salah and Ibadah.
4. Do Not Be Jealous:
We all have experienced how jealousy can disturb our peace of mind. You know that you work harder than your colleagues in the office, but sometimes they get promotions; you do not. You started a business several years ago, but you are not as successful as your neighbour whose business is only a one year old. There are several examples like these in everyday life. Should you be jealous? No. Remember, a person's life is shaped by their destiny, which becomes their reality. If you are destined to be rich, nothing in the world can stop you. And if you are destined to be poor, then no matter what you do, you will only be what you are destined to be. Nothing will be gained by blaming others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get you anywhere; it will only take away your peace of mind.
5. Change Yourself:
If you try to change the environment single-handedly, the chances are you will fail. Instead, change yourself to suit your environment. As you do this, even the environment, which has been unfriendly to you, will mysteriously change and seem congenial and harmonious.
6. Endure What Cannot Be Cured:
Every day we face numerous inconveniences, ailments, irritations, and accidents that are beyond our control. If we cannot control them or change them, we must learn to put up with these things. We must learn to endure them cheerfully. Believe in yourself and you will gain in terms of patience, inner strength and will power.
7. Do Not Bite Off More Than You Can Chew:
We often tend to take more responsibilities than we are capable of. This is done to satisfy our ego. Know your limitations. Why take on additional loads that may create more worries? You cannot gain peace of mind by expanding your external activities. Reduce your material engagements and spend time in prayer, and introspection. It will prevent you from thinking of matters that upset you. An uncluttered mind is a peaceful mind.
8. Make Regular Dhikr:
Dhikr, the remembrance of Allah, calms the mind and gets rid of disturbing thoughts. Try it yourself. If you do tasbih, dhikr, whenever you are free, your mind will be at peace during the day. Your mind will not be easily disturbed as it was before. You may think that this will interfere with your daily work. On the contrary, this will increase your efficiency and you will be able to produce better results in less time.
9. Never Leave The Mind Vacant:
An empty mind is the devil's workshop. Keep your mind occupied in something positive, something worthwhile and negative thoughts will not plague your mind. Actively follow a hobby, something that holds your interest. You must decide what you value more: money or peace of mind. Your hobby, like social work or religious work, may not always earn you more money, but you will have a sense of fulfillment and achievement. Even when you are resting physically, occupy yourself in healthy reading or mental chanting of God's name.
10. Do Not Procrastinate And Never Regret:
Do not waste time in protracted wondering, "Should I or shouldn't I?" You can never plan enough because you can never fully anticipate all future happenings. Value your time and do the things that need to be done now. It does not matter if you fail the first time, so long as you don't leave it for tomorrow. You can learn from your mistakes and succeed the next time. Sitting back and worrying will lead to nothing. DO NOT REGRET. Whatever happened was destined to happen. Why cry over spilt milk?
Gunnah (Sin) for
These days are associated with Ahlebait (a.s.) and considered to be very holy months, most of the people prefer to arrange wedding functions during these three months (Jamad us Sani, Rajab and Shaban). Usually this is done because of our close association with Ahlebait (a.s.), we celebrate our happiness when they are happy and when they are in grief we also turn into sadness, although this is a very excellent way to demonstrate our love, respect and association with them but one should understand that when anything, any event or any function is done in their name it obviously means that organizers should take extra care and the gathering should be very pure as it is done in the name of “Lords of Purity”.
Whenever you feel like your Gunnah account has reduced and you are feeling uncomfortable because of that, just don’t worry … Go and attend a wedding function of so called “Moderate Family”, you’ll find a complete Gunnah package and those 2-3 hours per function is enough to increase your account. And if the function is of your close relative/friend, then just be prepared for some extra ordinary packages like buy one get many free and special discounts upto 100%.
The story starts with the wedding week when you are invited to join a Mehendi function; as soon as you step out from your home the counter will start or maybe it was started the day when you accepted that invitation and started preparation for it. Hmmmmmmmm, nicely dressed, you reached the invited place, you’ll be greeted with some cool music playing in ultra loud voice and you’ll be seeing some females with proper “western” Hijab greeting your ladies, no need to mention that you are in a mix gathering as there was no other choice for organizers cause the Mehendi function has to be mix gathering as it is sunnat-e-Iblees.
Your account has start increasing but there is much more to come so remain excited, now you have two choices (don’t worry both of them will earn you equal Gunnah), either participate in the “Dhoolki and/or Dandiya” performed by girls and boys or remain seated and enjoy the show. Young children must be enjoying the dance and remember DO NOT scold them when they repeat this action at home with their siblings and cousins because you are the one to encourage and develop this notion in them. For most of the children this won’t be a new thing as STAR PLUS has already taught them all these gestures.
And now comes the most disgraceful part of the ceremony, music is on its peak and family members are going to perform Imam Zamin ceremony, with the voice of “Salwat” which will ofcourse muddle up with the music sound, the groom wears Imam Zamin of “YA ALI” and bride wears of “YA FATIMA” and with that Imam Zamin tied on the hand, groom starts shaking hands and taking “Musafa” with Na-Mehram women like Chachi, Bhabbi, Sali etc. etc., still with the “YA ALI” Imam Zamin on the arm, bride’s sisters and cousins do the “ANGHOTA PAKRAI” rasm. This is when girls from bride’s side hold the thumb of groom and demand for certain gift, I am not against the tradition but holding hands without any barrier is what makes it Haram.
Do I need to mention that you can easily convert this Gunnah into “Gunnah-e-Jaria” by just letting the movie maker to shoot your uncovered head in his camera? You can easily earn Gunnah for many years in this way, as the movie will be circulated around the community very regularly. In some cases ultra moderate family will upload it on youtube or some other website of this kind letting the whole world to enjoy the ceremony and without your permission you’ll be seen without Hijab by many Na-Mehrams.
When there are thousands of people hungry and living in worst conditions, and majority of them can be found in our own country (Pakistan), it is a mandatory tradition to waste huge amount of food when you know that Allah gave you the meal before this meal and you’ll surely take proper meal after this one then too who cares, one person will collect food for two people and will waste it without a single thought. People use to behave like if this is the first and the last meal in their life time.
Anyways much more can be highlighted on this issue but you can imagine how rich you are at the end of these functions.
Why? Why are we like this, when each of us know that this is not correct then too we do same every time. Why we don’t have courage to reject invitations for such functions where we are dam sure that it will be full of unlawful things? Why don’t we discourage these traditions?
Just because we don’t want the relative/friend to feel bad if we reject the invitation, then what about Allah and Ahlebait (a.s.)? Are the friends superior to Ahlebait (a.s.) that we are giving preference to their displeasure on Ahlebait’s (a.s) displeasure?
I admit that I am also same as all others but I want to change, are you ready to change?
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