Arab men's great dilemma: To marry educated or uneducated woman?! Part 1

 

Majed Thabet Al-kholidy

Islamic Society 

10 Sep 2008, NewAgeIslam.Com

Yemen Times Staff

As the title suggests, the article raises a frequently asked question. Though I have my personal viewpoint to answer, I will first try to shed light on the viewpoints of others, supporting them with real stories from the society. As usual, the topic is left open for all readers to give their opinions with reasons, referring to real stories as supporting examples.

In this article, I will start with shedding light on the opinions that look at the matter of marrying uneducated woman better than marrying educated ones. The opinions which support marrying educated women will be discussed in issues to come.

Some men always recommend the marriage of uneducated women, claiming that life goes easier than marrying educated ones. For them, uneducated woman accepts things as they are, rarely rejects things even if they are not acceptable to them. "An uneducated woman", said a husband, "can be framed and designed as the man wants". By this he means that the uneducated woman is somehow ignorant of many things like women rights, women freedom, gender equality, and so on. As a result, the man rarely faces problems related to these which usually turn the marriage life to hell.

An educated woman, on the other hand, realizes everything around her. She can not be deceived or easily convinced if she believes in something else. "If the husband does not allow his educated wife to go on a picnic with her friends, for example, she will make lectures on humanity, the psychology of humans, human rights and so on", said that husband. If this is the case, such a husband should accept either to let her go, or to let her go after being forced to listen to a number of lectures which may continue some days after going on that picnic.

An educated woman thinks it is her right to share the man everything in life. That is really nice. The idea of sharing sometimes disturbs the rest of life when the man takes decisions without consulting his wife. For most of the uneducated women, on the other hand, sharing life with the husband has a different meaning.

 

To distinguish between the two cases, let us refer to this real example. A man, I personally know, bought some pieces of furniture for his home. He did so when he got some money, thinking that it was better to buy things for home rather spending the money for useless things. He thought that his wife would thank him for that. But the moment he reached home, she rushed with anger towards him, shouting at him for not taking her opinion before buying such things. He tried to convince her in many ways, but she kept on repeating that it is her right to share everything with him even if in buying furniture for home. As a result, a problem was created, and for more than two weeks the husband and the wife were in dispute for some time.

The other one is a friend of mine who told me that he used to do many things like this, but no problem was created because his wife is uneducated, as he claimed. "I always buy things for home without telling my wife before", he says. As he said, she never tells him that it is her right or not, but on the contrary she feels happy when the husband buys such things for home instead of wasting money in useless things.

In addition to the two cases which advocates marrying uneducated women, there are other opinions which will be discussed in the next articles. Responses to this topic are warmly welcomed to be sent to the newspaper's contacts or my email as shown above. Finally, it is important to remind that I have my own point of view which will be stated when I conclude the discussion of this topic.

Source: http://yementimes.com/article.shtml?i=1171&p=community&a=

 

http://rethinkingislam-sultanshahin.blogspot.com/2009/08/arab-mens-great-dilemma-to-marry.html